The Fix
November 22nd, 2009 by Daniel MasonThey cruised through the desert in an open-top convertible. Lila rode shotgun with her feet on the dash, painting toenails. She chewed gum and smoked cigarettes. She wore these great big two-dollar glasses like blowfly eyes. Doc looked over from behind the wheel. ‘You realise how stupid those goggles make you look?’ She smacked her gum and smiled. The old man had no modern sense of style.
These two made unlikely lovers. Doc was pushing sixty. Grey hair cut short in the same fashion he’d worn over the last three decades. He was dressed in a neat suit and tie despite the oppressive heat. Lila was just easing into her early twenties. She wore a T-shirt and jeans. No bra, no shoes, no underpants.
She yawned. ‘I’m bored, man. How long til we get there?’
‘You need to quit smoking that weed, honey.’
‘Huh? I’ve been smoking cigarettes this whole ride!’
‘I noticed,’ Doc said, ‘but I told you twice already how far we gotta travel today. Remember?’
‘Yeah, but the distance til we get there always changes.’
‘Aw, c’mon. Now you’re being difficult on purpose, Lila.’
‘I’m just bored. Can’t we play a game to pass the time?’
‘You mean something like ‘I Spy’ or ‘Count the Yellow Cars’? Because in case you haven’t noticed, I ain’t a little kid no more.’
‘No, I mean a different game. Ever played ‘You Are’?’
‘I got no idea what you’re talking about, honey.’
‘Okay,’ Lila said. ‘I’ll go first and that way I can show you how the game works. I make a statement about you based on intimate knowledge or simple observation, right? Like, you’re the kind of guy who loves old westerns. Not the gung-ho John Wayne bullshit, either. I’ll bet your idols are, like, Clint Eastwood and Charles Bronson.’
‘Not bad. I reckon I get the hang o’ this one. So… you’d be the kinda girl who likes riding with her feet on the dash.’
Lila pulled her feet off the dashboard, sitting up straight. ‘How astute of you, Doc.’
‘You’re the kinda girl who uses complicated words a simple old fella like me just don’t understand.’
She laughed. ‘You’re the kind of guy who doesn’t even know what astute means!’
‘How fuckin’ astute of you, Lila.’
‘You’re losing focus here. Let’s try again, start over.’ She paused, thinking about what came next: ‘You’re that old-school kinda guy who takes a real lot of pride in his skills behind the wheel. How many years you been packing a license, Doc?’
‘Um… thirty-seven? No, no – thirty-eight. Fuck, this ain’t twenty questions, is it? Now you’re the one who’s losing focus. Let’s put it another way, honey: you’re the kind of girl who shacks up with men twice her age.’
‘You’re the kind of guy who secretly listens to The Eagles.’
‘Don’t you fuckin’ tell nobody!’ Doc snapped. He self-consciously switched off the radio. ‘You’re the kind of girl who knows when to keep her big mouth shut.’
‘You’re the kind of guy who never played football in high school. I’ll bet that you boxed instead. Am I right?’
‘Wrong. I did ‘em both. Got some trophies what can prove it, too. And I reckon you’re the kind of girl who fucked the football players under the bleachers after training.’
‘Oh, yeah? Well, you’re the kind of guy whose first wife filed for divorce with two black eyes.’
‘The part about keeping your mouth shut? I take it back.’
‘You’re the kind of guy who knows how to give shit but can’t take it, you know that?’
‘You’re the kind of girl my mother would’ve hated. I mean – she would have really fucking loathed you, sweetheart.’
Lila said, ‘I’ll take that as a compliment.’
Doc said, ‘It wasn’t meant to be.’
‘Didn’t take very long for this to get nasty, did it?’
‘Never does, honey. It never does.’
Lila sparked another cigarette. ‘How long til we get there, again?’
‘We got us a little ways to go just yet.’
‘And what happens when we get there?’
‘I told you already: we’re gonna pay somebody a visit.’
‘And things will get nasty?’
Doc spoke with a world-weary tone. ‘They usually do when you gotta fix another man’s problem.’
‘Is that what you do?’ Lila asked. ‘Fix problems?’
‘Yeah. I’m the kinda guy who’s good at fixin’ things.’
There was a protracted silence. Lila switched the radio back on, fiddling with the dials until she found a satisfactory station.
‘So what’d this guy do, anyway?
‘Which guy?’ Doc asked.
‘The one we’re going to see.’
‘I got no idea what he done.’
‘You don’t know?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘How come?’
‘How come what?’
‘How come you don’t know what this guy did?’
‘I don’t ask. It ain’t none of my concern what he’s done.’
‘So you’ll just go right ahead and fix him up, anyway? It doesn’t matter whether this guy actually deserves it or not?’
‘You askin’ if I’ve got a moral code or something?’
‘Pretty much. I figure every man in your line of work has gotta have a code, right?’
Doc thought it over. ‘Well… I never fixed a woman before.’
‘How chivalrous of you, Doc.’
‘There you go talkin’ like a dictionary again.’ He paused, thinking about it some more. ‘I won’t do children, neither. So, I guess that’s my code.’
‘What if this guy has kids?’
‘Doing a family man ain’t the same as fixin’ his kids, too. But this guy don’t got any family. I checked him out first, see. Always research your target, Lila. You don’t wanna pay somebody a visit at their home if there’s gonna be a whole mess o’ witnesses. You can’t never leave witnesses.’
‘Wait – are you bringing me along for a lesson?’
‘Figured you could learn a thing or two, yeah.’
Lila asked, ‘Is that what you thought the night we first met?’
‘I don’t remember.’
‘You can’t remember the night we first met?’
‘I may be old, sweetheart, but I ain’t fuckin’ senile. It’s only been, what, two weeks? And you think I can’t remember?’
‘You just told me that you can’t remember!’
‘No,’ Doc corrected. ‘What I said is that I don’t remember whether I thought you needed some extracurricular learnin’ back then.’
‘Extracurricular, huh? That’s a bit of a complicated word for a simple old fella like you, isn’t it?’
‘Must’ve picked it up somewhere along my travels.’
‘Wanna know what I thought of you?’
‘You still talkin’ bout the night we first met?’
‘Of course, you silly geriatric.’
‘Hey, watch it! I know what geriatric means.’
She laughed. ‘You wanna hear what I thought or not?’
Doc said, ‘Even if I didn’t wanna know, I figure you’re still gonna tell me, anyways. Am I right?’
She took a long draw on her cigarette, ignoring the question.
‘I was sitting in a booth over by the corner. I’m sure you didn’t even notice me there. I was dealing with some boring, drunk college student trying to flirt with me. For some reason I seem to attract these losers who believe there’s a chance I’ll actually wind up going home with them. And if I actually did end up going home with these pathetic dullards, I’m sure they’d only try fucking me like they learned from watching porn flicks.
‘Anyway, I was looking for an excuse to get away from this guy and I saw you sitting alone at the bar. I thought: “Now there’s a real man. I’ll bet this one has led an exciting life. He’s probably seen and done things I can’t even imagine.” And I thought: “Yeah, he’ll have stories worth telling. And I’ll bet he really knows how to fuck a girl proper, too.”’
‘How astute of you, Lila.’
‘I told this guy that you were my uncle. Hadn’t seen you in a couple years and then I find you in this shithole bar in the back-end of nowhere. What are the chances of that?’
‘So then later that night he sees you sittin’ on your so-called uncle’s lap performing an incestuous act, huh?’
‘That’s what makes it a story worth telling, Doc.’ She paused. ‘Should I be surprised you know what incestuous means?’
‘My old man liked to diddle my kid sister. Guess that’s one complicated word I learned pretty early on.’
‘Jesus.’
‘Don’t worry – I fixed him in the end.’
‘Bastard sure deserved it, too.’
‘Yeah, the old man got what he was owed, that’s for sure.’
‘What happened to your sister after?’
‘She killed herself.’
‘Fuck. I’m sorry, man.’
Doc was unfazed. ‘That’s just how this cruel world works, sweetheart.’
Lila didn’t respond. The turn of the conversation had visibly affected her. She was staring at the passing landscape in deep thought. The desert roadside was rife with cactus. The plants were lined up like rows of hitchhikers.
They rode in silence a while longer. Lila finished her cigarette and pitched it outside the car. She watched it tumble from view in the side mirror.
Doc said, ‘There’s an ashtray right here, you know.’
Lila got moody like an unexpected thunderstorm. ‘You got a problem with littering? Turn the car around if you like. I’ll go back there and put it in the damn ashtray for you.’
‘Christ. What got stuck in your craw all of a sudden?’
‘That thing about your sister,’ she said. ‘I really wish you hadn’t told me that.’
‘Well, I’m sorry if that one hit close to home. Forget it, okay? Doesn’t matter now. She’s gone.’
‘It’s that attitude I don’t like. She was your sister, Doc.’
He wasn’t comfortable with the turn of the conversation. ‘You didn’t know her – and I don’t wanna talk about her anymore. Let’s just forget it, okay?’
‘Okay.’
‘Okay.’
They were stuck with another protracted – and increasingly uncomfortable – silence. Lila didn’t like it. She shifted in her seat and tried getting things back on track. ‘Tell me what you thought about me that night.’
Doc was hesitant. ‘We going back to the night we first met?’
‘Yeah. I’m curious.’
‘Well, I do remember thinking: “Why’s a pretty young dame like this one showin’ any interest in chattin’ with me?”’
‘I always had a thing for older men.’
‘Yeah, I figured as much.’
‘How astute of you, Doc.’ She paused. ‘What were you doing in that bar, anyway?’
‘Workin’.’
‘Looked more like drowning your sorrows to me.’
‘I’d been tailin’ somebody.’
‘And I interrupted?’
‘Nah, he left. I just chose to stay on a while.’
‘I’m glad you did.’
‘So am I, honey.’
She leaned over to kiss him. The tension was gone. She felt cheeky. ‘You wanna pull over and fuck on the roadside?’
‘It’s tempting,’ Doc said, ‘but we’re almost there now.’
‘And you wanna stay focused, huh? What about a blowjob, then? Might clear your head before things get really nasty.’
‘Quit teasin’. I need to put my game face on. You shouldn’t be distracted, neither. You wanna learn something or not?’
‘You looking to hire a partner?’ Lila asked.
‘I never worked with a partner before. Maybe I’m just looking for a student, like Bronson in The Mechanic. I ain’t got no kids or nobody else I can pass these skills onto. Maybe I’m just a lonely old man takin’ stock of his life and realisin’ he left nothing behind but a trail of bodies he’ll never lay claim to.’
‘What makes you think I have any interest in killing people?’
‘First of all,’ Doc said, ‘never, and I mean never, ever use that word.’
‘What word? Killing?’
‘Yeah. It ain’t killin’. It’s fixin’.’
‘Huh. You worried the car might be bugged?’
‘Nah, it ain’t even my car. This baby’s hot.’
‘So you’re a car thief and a hitman?’
‘I don’t hit nobody – I just fix ‘em.’ He gave her a look to make sure that she understood this emphatic statement. She got it. He continued:
‘Never take your own vehicle on a gig, Lila. That’s careless, just askin’ to be caught. You don’t wanna have a vehicle registered in your name gettin’ picked up later on traffic cameras near the scene. You don’t wanna leave any tyre prints for analysis, neither. You don’t wanna leave anything what can be traced right back to your doorstep. So borrow a car instead. And always dump it after the job, too. Burn it.’
‘I meant to ask about those jerry cans in the back.’
‘Now you don’t gotta.’
‘So, how do we get back home? Steal another car?’
‘Take a bus. Always pay for your ticket in cash. Wear a cap and sunglasses in the terminal. They got cameras there, too.’
‘You never answered my other question.’
‘Which question?’
‘What makes you think I’m interested in fixing people?’
‘You ain’t told me to pull over so’s you can get out.’
‘Maybe I’m afraid that you’ll have to fix me, too. I know too much now, right? You couldn’t just let me go free.’
‘I told you – I never done a woman before.’
‘There’s a first time for everything.’
‘That’s why I brought you along for the ride, kiddo. You got that look about you. Whadda they calls ‘em? A femme fatale? I picked that one up from watchin’ old detective movies. I wager you’re the kinda girl who’s curious enough to watch a man get fixed. Maybe you’ll like it or maybe you won’t, but I’ll reckon you’re keen to find out anyways.’
She was feeling bold. ‘How do you know I haven’t seen it all before?
The question threw Doc off. ‘Well… I don’t, really. For all I knows you’re a stone-cold fixer already – only you’re just playing cute with me.’
She laughed. ‘I guess you’ll find out soon enough.’
‘You’re the kinda girl who likes to live hard and fast on the edge, ain’tcha? Yeah, I reckon you wouldn’t mind seein’ how a professional does things. After some of the stuff you told me about your own daddy, I reckon maybe you wouldn’t mind fixin’ him up right, too. Tell me I’m wrong, honey. I’ll stop the car right here and you can get out.’
She didn’t correct him.
The landscape had shifted: hardpan gave way to rolling dunes and scrubland. The highway ran a straight line to a horizon obscured by waves of heat. It was still nowhere country. Inhospitable, empty and endless.
‘We’re gettin’ close now,’ Doc said.
‘Out here?’
‘Yeah, out here.’
He pulled the car off the highway and followed an unmarked side road that was barely visible. The ride got bumpy. They dipped and jumped with the car.
‘What if this guy isn’t home?’
‘We’ll pull up a ways from his shack, take shifts with the binoculars and wait him out. I hear patience is supposed to be a virtue. But I don’t reckon we’ll be stuck waitin’ long, anyway. I already done the recon. Gotta scope out your target, Lila. Learn their routine. This fella lives out here in the middle o’ nowhere, hits up the nearest liquor store every morn – a forty-five minute drive, too – then he comes back home to drink his self blind. He’s got no place else to go. Probably half-tanked by now, too. He won’t even see it comin’.’
‘You ever worry that maybe you’re walking into a trap?’
‘Why? Your spider-sense tingling?’
‘My what?’
‘You never watched Spider-Man cartoons? He’s got like a sixth sense what tells him whenever something’s wrong. I reckon we all got some kinda spider-sense.’
Lila said, ‘I’m inclined to agree.’
Doc said, ‘You got a bad feeling about this one?’
‘Maybe. I dunno. It’s spooky out here, though. This whole damn place is just one bad feeling.’
‘A little paranoia don’t hurt in this business.’
Doc turned the wheel, pulling the car off the road before easing to a stop.
Lila glanced around. She saw nothing but lonely hills. ‘Why are we stopping here?’
‘He don’t live so far away,’ Doc said. ‘You got a bad feeling, right? We’ll scope out the place from here, put your mind at ease.’
‘My, my. Aren’t you just the sweetest thing?’
‘What’s the word? Chivalrous?’
‘Like a knight in shining armour.’
‘Yeah, that’s me. Do me a favour, honey. Binoculars are right there in the glove compartment. Grab ‘em for me, will you?’
Doc opened his door. He climbed from the vehicle to stretch his legs while Lila retrieved the binoculars. He massaged the small of his back. He was getting too old for long drives.
Lila got out and came around to meet Doc at the car’s front. She offered him the binoculars. He shook his head.
‘You hold onto ‘em. Take a peep over that way.’
Doc indicated off to the right. Lila moved a short distance away from him in that direction. She looked through the binoculars. She stood with her back to him. Doc scanned the landscape in all directions, shielding his eyes from the sun with one palm. He reached inside his suit jacket with the other hand.
Lila said, ‘Who the hell wants to live all the way out here?’
‘People what don’t wanna get bothered, I s’pose.’
Doc removed the handgun from its holster inside his jacket.
Lila was oblivious.
‘I don’t see a car down there,’ she said. ‘Unless he parks around the back? And that shack – what a pathetic old shithole. I can’t believe anybody lives in that place. It’s, like, completely rundown. You sure it’s the right place? Looks abandoned.’
Doc looked around one final time. He knew the shack was abandoned. He was satisfied there were no witnesses. He pointed the gun at the back of Lila’s head. He cocked the trigger.
Lila heard that ominous sound – and then she understood. She dropped the binoculars but didn’t turn around.
‘Son of a bitch,’ she said.
‘Your spider-sense was right, sweetheart.’
She turned to face him. She was seething at his betrayal.
‘Don’t you dare call me sweetheart!’
Doc stayed calm. ‘Turn back around, sweetheart.’
She did the opposite: she came forward.
‘What – you can’t look me in the eye when you do it? You too much of a coward to face your own handiwork, Doc?’
He got frustrated. ‘Either you turn around right now, then get down on your knees – or I put a bullet in your gut instead. One to the back of your head makes it quick and painless. I were you, Lila, I’d take that first option. Otherwise things’ll get nasty, slow and very, very painful. You want me to leave you here bleeding out while you watch the vultures circling above?’
Lila glanced warily at the sky. She sighed, accepting defeat, taking the first option and slowly turning around. She knelt, trembling. Fighting back tears.
Doc came forward, staying just out of reach. The gun was still trained on her head.
‘So everything was a lie,’ she said.
‘Not everything.’
‘Just the part about not doing women.’
‘I told you I’d never fixed a woman before. That part weren’t a lie, either. I just didn’t say I never would.’
Lila spoke bitterly. ‘There’s a first time for everything, right?’
‘That’s why I brought you along for the ride.’
‘I can’t believe I fucked you.’
‘Neither could I, honey.’
‘Guess I pissed off the wrong kinda people, huh?’
Doc said, ‘It ain’t my concern what you done. That much was true. I don’t ask questions. All’s I know is that you need fixin’ and it’s my job to do it.’
‘I never meant for anybody to get hurt.’
‘I’m guessing that means somebody did.’
Lila tried to explain fast, almost stumbling over the words: ‘It was supposed to be just like any other robbery. In and out, real quick. The only reason I ever put bullets in that gun was for warning shots! Sometimes you have to scare ‘em, you know? But this fucking kid walks in the door-’
‘Save it. You don’t gotta justify nothin’ to me.’
‘He was just a kid. It was a split-second reaction. I didn’t even realise until he was bleeding out on the floor.’ Lila wiped away tears. ‘Guess I deserve this after what I did. I’m not going to beg.’
‘Good – because that never makes any difference. It’s nothin’ personal, kitten.’
She was done with self-pity. She got feisty again. ‘Enough with the fucking pet names, Doc.’
‘Alright, Lila. I really did like you, if it makes any difference.’
She got real feisty. ‘Oh, I’m so fucking happy to hear that. Now I can go to my grave knowing that a pathetic, lying old loser actually felt something for me. Yeah, I’m just tickled fucking pink.’ She started crying all over again, but she never choked on the words. ‘Well, what the fuck are you waiting for? Want to spend a little while longer getting sentimental? Or can’t you do i-’
Doc pulled the trigger. She went forward with the force of the bullet. She fell face-first in the dirt. He stepped forward and put another two in her spine for good measure. He stood over the body. He looked for signs of life.
There was only blood and sand.
He loosened his tie. Sweat tickled his ears.
Lila never moved. Doc felt a little wistful.
She was the best ride he ever had, but he always figured she was the kinda girl who’d die before she was done asking questions.
