If you believe TRUE BLOOD, the American South is currently being overrun by vampires, shapeshifters and other creatures. But just how close to reality is this representation? Our resident Dixie checks in with the facts.

From Graceland in Memphis to Brown Creek in Georgia, our redneck contributor has been doing some wanderin’ of late, finally stopping by to share his (mis)adventures with y’all.

Now that CNN has unveiled their Hologram device, ya’all are gonna want one aren’t you? Well, it may not even be worth it in the end friend…

John McClane gets called back to work - by John McCain. “There appear to be a group of rogue terrorist asteroids intent on attacking my campaign headquarters today.”

A hick waxes poetic on the legendary actor’s salad dressing.